For the vast majority of families in Bombay – seventy-three per cent, according to the 1990 census – home consists of only one room, for living, for sleeping, for cooking, for dining. The average is 4.7 persons to a room; Girish’s family exceeds this by 2.3 persons. The furniture of the room changes continuously, through […]
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Tags:Density·Families·India·Mumbai·poverty·Urbanisation
As promised, here’s the ending of Sophia’s essay on “Conquering Juliet”: I didn’t quite understand what was happening until I found myself backstage, petrified, quaking. My hands were cold. I couldn’t remember how my piece started. An old mirror betrayed the contrast between my chalk-white face and my dark gown, and I wondered how many […]
Tags:China·Essay·Music·parenting·Performance
I grabbed the (home made birthday) card again and flipped it over. I pulled out a pen from my purse and scrawled “Happy Birthday Lulu Whoopee!” I added a big sour face. “What if I gave you this for your birthday, Lulu—would you like that? But I would never do that, Lulu. No—I get you […]
Once, Sophia came in second on a multiplication speed test, which her fifth-grade teacher administered every Friday. She lost to a Korean boy named Yoon-seok. Over the next week, I made Sophia do twenty practice tests (of 100 problems each) every night, with me clocking her with a stopwatch. After that, she came in first […]
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Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in exasperation that she was giving up and stomped off. “Get back to the piano now,” I ordered. “You can’t make me.” “Oh yes, I can.” Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed, and kicked. She grabbed the music score and tore it […]
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The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, “Hey fatty—lose some weight.” By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of “health” and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in […]
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What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you’re good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences.
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According to Sophia, here are three things I actually said to her at the piano as I supervised her practicing: 1. Oh my God, you’re just getting worse and worse. 2. I’m going to count to three, then I want musicality! 3. If the next time’s not PERFECT, I’m going to TAKE ALL YOUR STUFFED […]
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There’s an old Chinese saying that “prosperity can never last for three generations. I think I actually agree with this one. At least understand it.
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When I was little, my parents had no sympathy for disabled people. In much of Asia, disabilities are seen as shameful, so when my youngest sister Cynthia was born with Down syndrome, my mother initially cried all the time, and some of my relatives encouraged us to send Cindy away to an institution in the […]
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